Okay so before I waitressed at the Restaurant I spent six months as a waitress in a well-known strip club in my city. Don't judge, I was young and I needed the money. Anyway, I saw some of the most amazing, underhanded, dirty practices while I was there but generally the girls (most of them anyway) were cool and I made really good money. Also, there was one fight I saw there that stuck in my mind, purely because of how epic it was.
It was a tuesday night. This automatically made the night suck, it was a tuesday and I was going to be working til 6 in the morning. It was also raining and in the middle of winter. No one goes to strip clubs on a tuesday in the middle of winter; it's just not sensible. Anyway, out of maybe the ten customers we had, three are the antagonists in this tale. I'd been talking to one of the girls in the bathroom, she was a stripper from Melbourne with awesome, studded heels. I was making the rounds and offered drinks, they ordered a glass of red wine, a vodka cranberry and a Tui (possibly the worst beer known to man). Right as I was getting their order, a gentleman standing at the bar gestured a little too wildly and knocked several glasses from their spot hanging above the bar into the ice sink. I'd been waiting for someone to do that for months. Anyway, it was taking a while to get their drinks because A, the only bartender on, had to completely empty, clean and refill the ice bin. Shoes Stripper actually came up to me while I was waiting for the drinks (we had stupid systems at this bar) and asked me where their drinks were because they were "really thiiiiiiiirsty", with that little girl whine and everything. That was about when I wrote this girl off as a bitch. Either way, I got their drinks, put them on my tray and started walking through the (mostly empty) bar to Shoe Stripper, who was sitting at the rail thing next to the stage.
Right as I got to her, her friend stood up in front of me, knocking my tray and spilling all the drinks down my front. I got a mumbled "oh, sorry" and stalked back to the bar to change my shirt and get them new drinks. As I was making my way back, I saw the best thing I've ever seen in a strip club. There was a girl on stage called Christina (I don't know her real name). She was gorgeous, blonde, curvy and hilariously funny. She was up there, doing her thing, and Shoe Stripper sitting by the stage loudly commented on her weight, I think her exact words were "Oh my god, that blonde skank's huge! No wonder they don't make any money here." With that, Christina turned around (she'd had a bit to drink out of boredom) yelled "I'm not fucking fat, you stupid fucking slut!," punched Shoe Stripper square in the face then dove off the stage, knocking Shoe Stripper off her stool and onto the floor, where they started wrestling. It was a full on cat fight, complete with screaming and scratching and hair pulling and everything.
We (the other waitresses, myself, and my friend T) were all standing near the bar in awe while this was going down, until something clicked and we all started yelling and cheering Christina on. It didn't take too long before the bouncers came in, one picked up Christina and carried her into the changing room while the other one picked up Shoe Stripper and took her outside, her friends following meekly behind. And what did us waitresses do? Well we did what I'd do for any girl after a fight, we picked up all Christina's hair extensions that Shoe Stripper had ripped out and followed her into the changing room with them. A girl can't leave her hair lying all over the floor of a strip club, you know.
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