Humbert Humbert

Let me start this by saying that I am young and look younger. I can still pass as a child on the bus despite being halfway through my degree. Now onto the story.

There is this man, we shall call him C for Creepy. He's at least 60. It started off okay, he came in sometimes when I first started working where I am now and we'd tell each other jokes. Him and his friends would request that I be their waitress, they were fun to have as customers and it was fine. Then he started coming in by himself. I figured, "okay, I know he works at the theatre down the road, he's probably just coming in for a drink after work." Then the jokes turned sexual. I can hold my own when it comes to dirty jokes, so I'd simply one-up him on smut factor. This is around when it started getting weird. I noticed him coming in every single night that I was working, alone more often than not. He started inviting me out places (I never went), offering to get me tickets to shows that were coming up. One of my co-workers told me that he came in, asked if I was working and promptly left when told it was my night off. One of my favourite bars is right next door to where I work, the bartenders are friendly and know what I drink. I was sitting outside with friends on my night off and C, noticing me from next door, came over and into this other bar to chat with me. The real kicker came on Valentine's Day. He called me over to where he was sitting at the bar and gave me roses and chocolates that he'd convinced one of the bartenders to hide behind the beer tap. He then invited me to go on holiday to Australia with him.

Needless to say, I was creeped out and embarrassed. To my memory, I hurriedly thanked him for the present, telling him he really should not have gotten me anything and ran to the waiters station. My manager let me sign off early that night.

C still comes in every night, alone. He drinks his Stella with a tumbler of Franjelico on the side and stares at the female staff. He's started staying late and preying on young, inebriated girls who've come in for a coffee or a glass of water. It's getting to a point where management wants to ban him, money be damned.

And the Valentine's Day gifts? Well that was the night Bartender Boy and I got together. Him and my flatmate ate the chocolates and we threw the roses off the balcony.