Well, as you may have guessed from the title, I am a waitress (among other things) and this is where I intend to vent about my job, my co-workers and my customers. So, lets get stuck in, shall we?
There is nothing worse than a slow Friday night. If I'm going to do a 10 hour shift, I want it to be busy. A busy bar means more drinks for me which makes the night go faster; it makes sense, no? But last Friday was slow and not the good kind of chilled, relaxed slow either. The kind where you and the other two waitresses (seriously, why do we need three waitresses and a maître d on the floor when there's maybe twenty people in the whole fucking place?) actually fight over who gets to polish cutlery.
But on with the story, it was Friday night, it was boring and it was cold. The usual bouncer who I get to joke with wasn't on, I was working with a waitress I don't much like and it sucked. Then, while checking outside, I stopped at 15 and asked if they'd like another round. It's then that I notice that these people are young. That doesn't sound too strange, you may think, young people being in a bar, but at my bar it's rare to serve someone around my age. The majority of the clientele is over 30. Yes, I work in a cougar bar. Anyway, the girl who's obviously the leader of the group (and all of 19) orders a round of martinis. Now I know that martinis are foul unless you're used to them and when you've never had so much as a sip of one in your life, you think the bartender is playing a cruel joke on you. I also have no patience for people who pretend to know about liquor when they don't, hell I admit when I don't know something and I work in a freaking bar. These were not people who knew their cocktails. But I figured "what the hell" so went along with it. When someone orders a martini, it is not a matter of simply writing down 1X Martini on the docket and being done with it, everyone likes their drink differently. So I asked, "vodka or gin?" and was met with blank stares. Finally I get "you decide". Alrighty then, 4X Gin martinis, dry, dirty and with olives.
As I'm walking back inside the bouncer looks at me and makes a hand/neck cutting motion, "The girl in the black jacket's cut off". "Well shit", I think, "he could've told me that when I asked how everything was five minutes before I went and served 15. Besides, she seems stupid but sober enough to me." I told him that (not the first bit) and went inside to check what my manager thought. P (the manager, and one of my favourite people there) looked out at them, then back at me. "God, they've been awful all night. What did they order?" "Four martinis" I replied. "Oh good, they'll hate them. Get the money before you put the docket up." One of the guys pays the $68 for the drinks (not without squawking over the price) and I'm sure to take their drinks out to them, just so I can watch their faces with that first sip. I wasn't disappointed. Blonde Hair takes a tiny sip and instantly puts the glass down and asks for lemonade, the leader (the one that ordered the drinks) winces. The guy that paid screws his face up and the other guy looks like he's going to throw up. I bring them all water and the blonde girl's lemonade, trying to contain my merriment.
"What the fuck is in that?" asks throw-up guy. "Gin, dry Vermouth and olives" I answer, nonchalant. "Now that's $3.50 for that lemonade, have you got cash or do you need eftpos?"
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