Sunday 29 May 2011

Don't Ever Touch Your Waitress

So I started thinking about this the other night at work. I was serving a table outside and a girl accidentally brushed my boob. She apologized profusely, I wasn't upset in the least but a flippant comment, "It's fine, honey. If you were male and 50 I would mind" made me think. Now I have customers and I don't mind if they touch my arm, or my shoulder, hell I have regulars who I kiss on the cheek and hug. But there is a line, and it's not always the men who cross it.

A few months ago I was serving a table when the woman reached over and tugged my skirt down. Now my skirts are short, but not appallingly so (mid-thigh and I always wear tights underneath). I have never had a staff member or a customer complain about how I'm dressed, quite the contrary I tend to get lots of compliments on my shoes or my dress or what-have-you (we don't have a uniform at my bar). So you can imagine my shock and surprise when this complete stranger felt it was necessary and okay for her to adjust my clothes. I don't think I said anything, but I'm fairly certain I gave her a look. To my memory, they tipped pretty well too, maybe she felt bad. I think it was more the shock that there was a woman touching me, men I can deal with much better.

And that brings me on to my next point. Men, it is never, NEVER okay to touch your waitress, or your waiter for that matter, unless you know them and it's comfortable for both parties. The other night, my boss was sitting outside with two other men, having a drink and shooting the shit and what-not. I get on pretty well with Chief (that's what we'll call my boss) so when I went out to offer them another round we were chatting. One of his friends touched my arm. Now there is such thing as an innocent arm touch and there is such thing as a not so innocent arm touch (you go by the way they've been talking to you), this was the second kind. Chief's pretty protective of the female staff as well, so he slapped his friends hand away and joked "touching costs extra." We laughed and I went to serve the next table. A little while (and a few more drinks) later, I went back to Chief's table when I noticed they were getting low. While I was getting the drink order, Chief's friend exclaimed, "You've got a red bra on!" (the side of my top had slipped down under my arm) and went to touch my chest. Now this is not on from any customer so I slapped his hand away myself and reminded him that touching costs and he now owed me at least $100. Chief backed me up on this, and tried to push it up to $150. When the guy complained, Chief responded with, "Hey, I pay her at least that much and I don't get to touch anything!" The guy didn't have much cash on him, but I got him to sign my docket pad with an IOU for at least $100 and a few drinks, Chief signed as a witness and the guy tipped me $20 when he left.

So the moral of the story? Well there's several. Waitresses are not strippers, but everything has its price; a smile smoothes over everything; and if you're a boss and you have your staff's backs, they may just give you a cut of the money they make off very drunk men.

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