Last night was strange. We didn't have any of the coffee crazies come in (the regulars who I know and love) and only two of the normal suits. However, we did have an abundance of asshats.
First was the couple who camped for seven hours. I am not joking. For the last three hours they only had tap water. Also, the man was the kind of guy who speaks veeeerrryyy slowly to waitstaff because we must all be stupid. Honestly, how many people need "two Glenfiddich 18yrs, neat, but one only a half shot with a jug of water on the side" explained to them four times in different ways? I'm not saying okay and repeating your order back because I don't understand you. Whiskey is not hard. Reading Kant is hard. But I digress.
Second was the woman who showed up at 11pm on a Friday to a packed bar demanding a table inside for her and your nine friends. This was simply not going to happen, we had no free tables, chairs or even standing room inside. When I explained this to her, she pointed to three guys sitting at a four-top (waiting for their three partners to come back from the bathroom) and asked why I couldn't make them move. Because they've been here since dinner, have been coming here for eleven years and tipped me fifty dollars as well as being lovely, that's why.
I think last night must've been a full moon or the wind changed or something. Send me better luck for tonight!
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