The other night I discovered that I can say pretty much whatever I like whilst working and as long as I do it smiling, no one notices that I've just said something incredibly crude/insulted them. This is the story of how I discovered this. Of course, you treat different tables differently; I would never have said this to a table of two little old ladies, for example.
It was about 10.30ish on a Friday night. Usually people aren't drunk that early but there are some exceptions, these two guys were an exception. I was doing outside section and stopped in to check on them. The exchange went as follows.
S - Can I get you another drink?
M - No I'm good. But I have to ask you, are you spiritual?
S - That depends on what you mean by spiritual.
M - I mean, do you ponder about why we're here and who put us here and all that?
S - I'm a second year Philosophy student, so I ponder, definitely. I believe in a Philosophical god, rather than a traditional Christian one. But I guess I'd consider myself spiritual, yes.
M - Do you believe in the second coming?
S - I don't really believe in the first one.
M - No, if I say the words "Second Coming", what do they mean to you?
(At this point I looked at him, looked at his friend who had the look of exasperation the sober man gets when his drunk friend is asking waitresses strange questions, looked back at the drunk guy and replied:)
S - Multiple orgasms.
And then I walked away, leaving sober friend cracking up and drunk friend wondering what just happened.
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